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Sales Success Spoiler: It’s Not About You

Posted by Carole Mahoney on 2/24/25 4:33 PM

Sales Success Spoiler It’s Not About You

What’s the secret to sales success?  It’s Not About You!
We try every trick in the book to get buyers to like us, hoping it will make them buy from us. But despite all the persuasion tactics and all the effort to influence, buyers still resist.

They withhold information, they ignore us, and they stay in control.

Why?

Because the new Golden Rule of sales is simple: Those who have the gold make the rules. And that means buyers hold the power.


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Transform your sales strategy

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What Do Buyers Really Want?

Stanford University conducted a study to understand the impact of open-ended questions inviting people to elaborate on their thoughts. They found that when we ask these types of questions, we don’t just gain a better understanding of the person we’re speaking to.

We also help them become open to new ideas—ideas they may not have considered before.

And that’s the key:


Buyers aren’t looking to be persuaded. They want to feel understood.


So, how do we stand out in a crowded market? How do we differentiate ourselves in a way that buyers actually care about?

The Power of Asking the Right Questions

Buyers need to answer six core questions before they feel comfortable making a decision. When we guide them through that process with strategic, open-ended questions, we:

  • Uncover their real challenges
  • Help them see new possibilities
  • Build trust by focusing on their needs—not our pitch

And here’s the kicker: this approach doesn’t just help you in sales. You can practice it anywhere. Try it today—ask your colleagues or friends open-ended questions and see how much deeper your conversations go. (Fair warning: If you try this on your Uber driver or grocery store clerk, be prepared for some life stories. Have an exit strategy.)

The Secret to Differentiation

One of the biggest challenges in sales is standing out. Felicia asked me: How do I differentiate myself from all the other options out there?

Here’s how:


Instead of jumping into your story, start aligning it with theirs.


Michael King recently posted about using storytelling in sales, and I couldn’t agree more. But the mistake many sellers make is sharing their story too soon—before they fully understand how to connect it to their buyer’s reality.


In my workshops, we map out:
  • The key questions buyers need to answer before making a decision
  • The right questions salespeople should ask to uncover critical insights
  • How to take those insights and craft a compelling story that directly aligns with the buyer’s needs
Learn more today!

 


Watch the YouTube video for more insights


 

The Data-Proven Messaging That Works

I geeked out over some research recently (because: sales nerd alert). A study tested four different messaging approaches on 400 buyers. Three of them had little impact.

But the fourth? 91% of executives found it more credible and were more likely to take action.

What made it different?

It included telling details—the specific insights buyers need to trust a solution.

When you ask open-ended questions that uncover:
✔ The problem they have
✔ The impact of that problem
✔ The cost of not solving it
✔ The results they want
✔ The obstacles they’ve faced before

… and then use those answers to craft a narrative that directly connects their challenges to your solution in a quantifiable way—that’s when buyers take action.

Your Sales Origin Story

Sales isn’t just about tactics. It’s about shifting your beliefs and behaviors. And that starts with understanding your sales origin story.

We all have one—an early experience with sales that shaped our perception of what we don’t want to do. For many, it wasn’t a great experience.

Mine? I grew up in a family of entrepreneurs. My grandfather owned a sporting goods store. My mother had a painting business. My father ran an auto body shop. And through it all, I learned that when you:

  • Shift the focus from you to them
  • Make sales about serving rather than selling

You don’t just succeed—you transform the way people see sales.

It’s time to leave behind the outdated, pushy, transactional approach. Sales isn’t about forcing decisions. It’s about guiding them.


Are you asking the right questions?

Share your insights in the comments below. And if you loved this post, please share it with someone who will also love it!


 

Topics: sales techniques, sales strategy, sales tips, sales success, #buyerfirst