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That person needs to stop talking, NOW!

Posted by Carole Mahoney on 11/8/22 7:15 AM

Copy of #BuyerFirst questions Now I'm sure that you've all had that experience with someone, you know, that person. The one who asks you many questions, but they interrupt you before you’ve started to answer the question. Then they tell you about themselves, their experience, and their story.

You know, that person, the one that talks about themselves, what they're doing, what they think about everything and anything. And they continue to ask about you beyond that first layer of questions.

That person needs to stop talking NOW. 

Well, I've been that person; you've been that person.

And our buyers don’t tolerate it well when we're constantly talking about ourselves. It's so easy to do. The reason for that has to do a lot with how our brains release dopamine. However, we must resist that and ask thought-provoking questions.

The questions that get buyers to talk about themselves help us better understand them, and the buyer is more likely to change their mind about how they're thinking about something. Even if that is contrary to what they were thinking before.

So to improve your discovery calls, get a clear understanding of where your buyer is now.

So how do we do that?

When we ask #BuyerFirst questions to understand our buyers better, value-making change happens.

To do that, I encourage you to first: don't think about interrogating your buyers. Instead, think about some good questions.

This means refraining from interrogating your buyers so that you can extract the most pain from them. They know that's what you're doing, and that's why they resist it.

And I know it sounds aggressive, but this is what I see happening on far too many sales calls. And so what happens is that sellers have this list of questions they need to get through; and get through them, they will. Or their manager will get them on the call review, saying, you didn't ask these questions.

But to your buyers, it sounds like, "Yeah. I know, Mrs. Byer, you filled out my meeting form with your agenda and wanted to have a demo and pricing. But you know, I can only do that once I have asked you all these questions to qualify you. So here's what I need to know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.”

And all your buyers are hearing is that what they want, what they need, and where they are, is of no importance to you.

So start where they are.

If they want pricing and a demo, that is where you need to start. And weave in your back questions:

  • How they got there
  • What they're trying already
  • Who else needs to be involved

But you have to give people what they want; otherwise, they will opt out of the conversation. Their eyes will glaze over, and they're going to be like, "Can we get to the part where I get to talk about what I need?"

That's what they're waiting for and not very patiently, nor should they be because they're the buyer.

Buyers make the rules, hence the new golden rule.


  • Shift our mindsets
  • Develop the skillsets
  • And align how we sell with buyers
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Topics: sales tips, sales training, sales conversations, Buyer First